i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
