we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
