u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
