i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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