I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So much rum. So many feels.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
