I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
