i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
