I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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