idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
