fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
