? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
