but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He passed out mid-signature
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
