ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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