I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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