my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
