I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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