there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
