If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
