Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
