Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
