My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
