i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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