4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
