Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
