You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
