I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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