it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
