i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
