Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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