The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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