Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
