I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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