Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
