Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
