there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
