in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
