Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
