I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
