I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
