I wanna bring you to show and tell
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
