he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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