don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
