My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
