So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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