last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
