yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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