Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
