Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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