when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
