i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
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