one might say we're banned from that church
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
