Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
no you cant smoke seaweed
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
