Duck Duck Cougar?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
