How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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